Best Laid Plans
by sciencekitty
Summary: When Buck's womanizing past finally catches up with him, he and Abby deal with the fallout.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first multiple chapter fic! The idea for this was inspired by fbi_woman's _Surprise, Surprise_ , so this is a shout-out to her for making my brain go hmmmm. This fic is headed in a completely different direction, though.

Buckle up for some serious angst ahead! I AM planning a happy ending, though. Seriously, most of the epilogue is already written even though the in-between chapters aren't. My outline plans for 10 chapters plus the epilogue, but we'll see what the characters say about that. :)

* * *

"Yo, Buck!"

Buck's in the locker area of the firehouse getting back into his street clothes after his shift when he hears Chimney holler his name from the loft above. He finishes pulling his shirt over his head and takes the stairs two at a time. When he gets to the top, he's about to ask Chimney what he wants when he comes face to face with a young woman about his age. She's short with dark hair and brown eyes and looks slightly familiar. She seems nervous but determined, and he feels his stomach sink.

Chimney gestures to the woman with his thumb. "I think we got another one of your victims here."

The woman's expression changes to surprise, and Buck feels the need to defend himself even though he's pretty sure that he doesn't actually know her. "Not victims," he says reassuringly, "at least, not on purpose. Did you maybe get a bunch of messages from an old dating site account of mine and I eventually stopped answering? See, there was this guy who stole my account and was using it to catfish women. He died and they got mad that he ghosted them and they kept showing up wherever I was. The last one threw a glass of water in my face."

Now she just looks amused. He stops talking when she shakes her head and clears her throat. "No," she answers, "I'm not one of them. We've met before, but I'm not surprised you don't remember. We were both pretty drunk."

"Oh," he says awkwardly, reaching an arm behind him to scratch at the back of his neck. "So, what can I do for you?"

"Emily," she supplies helpfully. She looks past him and sees Chimney pretending not to listen. "Is there a place we can talk privately?"

"Uh, sure." He leads her down the stairs and out behind the firehouse. Once they stop moving, she tries to get right to the point.

"So," she begins, "here's the thing."

Buck slides his hands in his pockets and looks her in the eye, giving her his undivided attention. All of her confidence seems to melt away.

"Shit," she mutters. "When I was practicing this in the mirror at home, there wasn't anybody looking at me except me. Can you just, well, _not_ look at me while I say this?"

Buck's a little amused despite the apparent gravity of the situation, but agrees. He positions himself with his back against the building and gestures at her to stand next to him. "You don't have to look at me," he says patiently, pointing to the tree a few feet in front of them, "just talk to the tree."

Emily takes a deep breath and nods, and then steps toward him gingerly. When she settles against the building, she's still at least an arm's length away. Buck begins to think this is more serious than just a couple of unanswered messages. "Better?" he asks her, trying hard not to let onto his growing feeling of unease. She nods again, seemingly taking a moment to gather herself. Before he can say anything else, she starts speaking again.

"We met at your roommate's Fourth of July party almost two years ago. Some of my friends dragged me along because I was going through a shitty breakup and they said I needed to get over him by, uh, getting under someone else." She blushes a little at that, but soldiers on. "They eventually abandoned me and you saw me sitting alone on the couch. You sat down next to me and we talked for a while. We were both already drunk, and we had more. Then we…..well, we slept together. I missed my next period and long story short, now I have a kid."

Startled, Buck looks over at her uncomprehendingly, but she continues to face forward. "I'm sorry for bothering you here, but your roommate said it was the best chance of actually getting you face to face. He thought you should be done with your shift by now." She chances a cautious glance at him. "I know this is a lot, but everyone in my life says you deserve to know. They don't think I should hide this from you anymore."

Buck feels as though all the air has been sucked out of his lungs. "I need to sit down," he manages to say. He sinks to the ground, his back still against the building. Head in his hands, he takes a few deep breaths and then looks up. Emily crouches down beside him hesitantly.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Buck says to her carefully, "but are you sure it's me?"

She gives him a sympathetic look. "The only other guy I slept with during that time was my ex, and I finally got him to agree to a paternity test. We got the results back a week ago. It's not him."

"Oh," Buck says. "Ok."

He's still too shocked to properly respond, so she takes pity on him and hands him a scrap of paper with her name and number on it.

"I'm not here because I want anything from you. I really don't. We're doing fine on our own and I have a great support system in place already. I think everyone is right, though. Liam deserves the chance to know his father. You deserve the chance to know your son."

She pauses again while Buck processes. "Liam?" he repeats blankly.

She smiles. "Our son. He's about 11 months old now. Do you want to see a picture?"

He nods robotically, still unable to form a coherent sentence.

She pulls out her phone and opens her photo album, then turns the screen toward him. The photo is of a chubby-cheeked infant grinning up at the camera from the inside of a stroller.

"Wow," is the only thing that Buck can say. The baby is certainly cute, but Buck doesn't feel any sort of familial connection or any other emotion that he's always expected he'd feel if he ever had a kid.

Off his lackluster reaction, Emily says reassuringly, "I don't expect you to believe me without a DNA test. That can be the first step, if you want."

"DNA?" he asks weakly. All he seems to be able to do is repeat her own words back at her, but she doesn't seem to be the least bit bothered.

"Paternity," she informs him. "Like I said though, if you don't want to be involved or even find out, that's okay. If you want to reach me though, you can just call or text." She stands up and looks down at Buck, who is still desperately trying to gather himself together. "Are you okay? Do you want me to go get someone for you?"

"No!" Buck doesn't really want to imagine his coworkers' reactions to this bombshell. "Don't. Really, I'm okay." He's trying to convince himself as much as her, and judging from the skeptical look on Emily's face, it's completely obvious. She waits while Buck takes a couple more deep breaths, and when he meets her gaze again, he sees nothing but kindness reflected in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says sincerely. "I felt the same way when I realized I was pregnant. Like the rug was pulled out from underneath me. My whole world changed." She leans down and tentatively lays a hand on his shoulder. "You really, truly don't have to do anything. Take your time; I just want to ask you to let me know what you decide, ok?"

Buck glances at her hand and covers it with one of his own. He squeezes gently. "I can do that."

"Thank you." She gives him a small smile and straightens back up again. "I have to get going. Are you sure you don't want me to go get anyone?"

He shakes his head and tries to sound braver than he feels. "Nah, I'll be okay."

She nods and gives a small wave before disappearing back around the building. One she's gone, Buck slumps over again, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He stays like that for a few minutes, willing himself to breathe and trying to calm the flood of thoughts rushing through his head.

He eventually walks back into the firehouse in a daze and runs into Chimney, who regards him curiously. "What the hell happened with her? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Buck doesn't answer right away, and Chimney notices the paper in his hand and whistles. "She gave you her number? Way to go, man!"

"It's not like that!" Buck snaps.

Chimney raises an eyebrow. "Why not? You know what they say, while the cat's away….."

Buck doesn't even dignify that remark with a response. He pushes past Chimney and walks out of the firehouse to his jeep. He knows the other man is just messing with him, but the insinuation that he'd so willingly chase after the next girl he saw when Abby has barely been gone a week pisses him off.

He's sitting alone in his jeep staring at the slip of paper Emily gave him when he sees Bobby making his way out to his own vehicle. Without a moment's hesitation, he opens the driver's side door and hops out.

"Cap," he hollers before he can change his mind, "can I talk to you?"

Buck thinks he must look as distressed as he feels, because Bobby takes one look at him and strides right over. "You okay, kid?" Bobby asks, placing a concerned hand on Buck's shoulder. "You look like you're gonna pass out."

"I don't know," Buck answers honestly. "I'm, uh, I'm kinda on a ledge, here."

"Okay," Bobby says decisively, "we'll talk over food. You hungry?"

"Yeah," he lies. Buck's nerves are so shot that he doubts he'll even be able to eat, but he's not in a position to turn down a willing ear.

"Great, I'm driving." Bobby glances at him as if he expects an argument, but Buck just nods and gratefully follows him without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! To Jay, who left the sweetest guest review: thanks so much for all of your kind words! To be honest, I think _cigarettes and outer space_ is probably my favorite of my one shots too. I'm officially promising a happy ending for Buck and Abby in this fic, it'll just take a while to get there. Hopefully everyone will stick with me!

* * *

Once they've ordered, Buck fills Bobby in on the whole story. Bobby's silent for a moment after he finishes, then leans forward and declares, "You need a beer."

That isn't at all what Buck was expecting. "What? But Bobby, you –"

Bobby clasps a hand on his shoulder. "I can handle watching you drink one beer," he assures him. "This situation calls for it." He catches their waitress' attention and Buck obediently orders from what's on tap. His drink comes out with their food, and after a few bites, they get back to business. Bobby puts down his fork and regards Buck seriously.

"How are you going to handle this?"

Buck takes a long sip of his drink before setting his mug down in front of him and staring into it. "I don't know," he says honestly. He lifts his head and looks Bobby in the eye. "I can't leave a kid without a dad, can I? Not if I want to sleep at night."

Bobby raises an eyebrow. "So you believe her, then?"

Surprised and slightly offended, Buck blinks at him. "Who would lie about something like this?"

Bobby chuckles despite the seriousness of the situation and Buck shrugs his shoulders. "Okay, so I get tested first. And if it's positive…." he trails off.

"If it's positive," Bobby repeats, leading him.

"I don't know," Buck says helplessly.

"Have you ever thought about having kids?"

"No," he says decisively. "Not seriously. I mean, sure, someday maybe. I was never in a real relationship before Abby, so I didn't have to think about it."

He stops talking suddenly and closes his eyes with a groan. "Abby," he says.

Bobby waits while Buck rubs at his forehead and looks up again. "I don't want to hurt her."

"Either way," Bobby tells him, not unkindly, "I think you're past that, kid. She's going to be hurt, it's just going to matter how you deal with it. She knows about your past with other women, right?"

"Yeah," Buck confirms. "She shouldn't have to deal with it, though. She doesn't deserve this."

"No," Bobby agrees. "But life hands everyone a lot of shit they don't deserve. That's one thing you should have learned from our job by now."

Buck nods. "But I should take responsibility for my actions, right? That's part of being a real adult, being better than I was."

"What does that mean to you?"

"You sound like a therapist." Buck complains. "You're older and wiser, right? Can't you just tell me what I'm supposed to do here?"

Bobby chuckles patiently. "It doesn't work that way, kid."

Buck sighs. "Yeah, I know. Can't blame me for trying, though, right?"

Bobby gives him the barest hint of a smile and repeats, "What does that mean to you? Taking responsibility, being better?"

Buck finds himself answering immediately this time. "Not abandoning them." He's quiet for a moment before adding, "You would help raise him."

"This isn't about me," Bobby tells him. "This is about you. There's more than one way to take responsibility. Child support, for one."

"So I just throw money at this and hope it goes away? What if he wants to meet me someday?"

"You deal with that when the time comes," Bobby suggests, "meeting him doesn't have to be a requirement."

Buck's surprised by the intensity of his own reaction. He's shaking his head halfway through Bobby's sentence and barely waits until the other man is finished speaking before he responds. "No. If he's mine, I have to be there, Bobby. I can't let him think he wasn't good enough or he wasn't wanted. He's not gonna grow up like –"

He stops himself before he goes too far.

Bobby looks at him curiously. "Like what?" he presses.

Buck swallows hard and reaches for his beer. He takes a long swig and uses the opportunity to calm himself down a bit.

"Like that," he says eventually, his tone even.

He watches Bobby's eyes narrow suspiciously. Buck tries his best to look impassive. It works, at least for the moment, because Bobby seems to let it go.

"So you would want to be involved in his life." Bobby states instead. "What about his mother?"

"What about her?" Buck asks.

"Your lives would be intertwined for at least the next, what, seventeen years? You'd share a kid together. You'd have to figure out how to be co-parents with someone you don't know."

Buck can feel panic rising in him again. He's spent most of his life barely thinking seventeen _minutes_ into the future, let alone seventeen _years_. The sheer enormity of the situation is starting to sink in for him and he feels like everything is quickly spiraling out of control.

"Buck!" Bobby snaps his fingers in front of Buck's face, bringing him back to reality. "Breathe. Just take a minute."

Buck focuses on Bobby's face and does as he's told. He slowly breathes in and out a few times before answering.

"I don't know, man. She seemed pretty chill. Like I told you, she kept saying he she doesn't want anything from me, just that I deserved to know."

"Okay," Bobby says reassuringly. "That's a good sign, right? She's not trying to force you into anything. That's good. Is she single?"

Buck's taken aback by the question. "I don't know, it didn't come up. What does that have to do with anything?"

Bobby shrugs. "All those women from your dating app…"

"Aren't Abby," Buck finishes firmly. "What's it gonna take for all you guys to believe this is for real? I haven't even _wanted_ to flirt with another woman in months. "

Bobby holds up his hands palms out in surrender. "I believe you, Buck. I'm just trying to cover all the bases here."

Buck crosses his arms. "You think Emily might just want a relationship with me. Well, even if she does, it's not gonna happen. This is about the baby, not us."

"Ok," Bobby says agreeably. "And how would you want Abby to fit into all of this? Has she ever wanted kids? How would she feel about helping to raise another woman's son?"

"We haven't talked about any of this," Buck confesses. "I know she likes kids. We were busy trying to find time to just go on dates while she was dealing with her mom. Then she went to Ireland. We haven't exactly had a lot of time to talk about all of this stuff. I guess we have to now."

Buck goes silent and studies Bobby's face for any kind of reaction, but doesn't find anything. He continues thinking out loud.

"But, I don't want to ruin her trip. She's only been there for a week. If I tell her now and the test ends up negative, she might be upset for no reason. But if I tell her now and it's positive….this trip could be a once in a lifetime thing. Isn't it selfish to upset her while she's there? But if I don't tell her until I know for sure, it feels like I'm lying. I can't lie to her Bobby, I love her."

Bobby nods his agreement with a slight smile. "Then don't lie. Tell her the truth, say that something is going on, but you don't want to bother her with the details until you're sure."

Buck makes a skeptical face. "I don't know, it still feels like hiding something."

"Nah," Bobby disagrees. "A woman like her, with everything she's gone through with her mom? I think she'll understand that. She trusts you, right?"

"Yeah," Buck says, "I hope so."

Bobby studies him carefully for another few seconds. "I don't want to sound like a therapist again, but how are you feeling about all this, any better?"

Buck sighs again and runs a hand over his face. "Scared," he says honestly. "And overwhelmed, but I'll just have to figure it out as I go, right? People do this kind of thing all the time, and they make it work."

Bobby nods. "So, you've made up your mind, then?"

"Yeah," Buck answers. "Yeah, I think so."

"Okay," Bobby tells him. "Just promise me this. Sleep on it, at least for one night. You need to act on this decision when you're rested and clear-headed. Does that sound reasonable?"

"Yeah," Buck answers, "it does. Thanks, Bobby."

"Sure."

They begin eating again, and Buck eventually breaks their companionable silence.

"Can we please talk about something else now?"


End file.
